Lost In Beauty-

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

*ahem* i noe i haven been blogging much due to my laziness and lots of activities recently.. tis entry will be quite boring to u guys, but for me, it is a motivational factor for me to blog nw..

anyway i will b toking abt christianity.. ok yawn all u want bt i still gotta blog cos i will nva noe hu will come across tis entry n be inspired.. hahaha... i am filled will so much things inside of me that i dunnoe hw to write.. gotta organized my thoughts

it is really amazing how god works.. i was a buddhist wen i was young, den became a christian, den a buddhist, den a christian..(which will always be le).. ok firstly, i m a very realistic person, very protective of myself and always on guard.. making me believe in sumting would nid tons of evidence, facts..

wen i was young, since my family comes from a buddhist background, i naturally became one w/o knowing anything.. den after my mum babysit a little baby "caleb" which by the way the cutest baby i ever seen, i got into contact with christianity.. i was young, i went becoz my bro went, i tot will b fun, honestly i haf little memory of exactly hw i felt there.. and due to such a weak foundation, obviously i drift away after my mum stop babysitting the baby.. bt important point.. "i said the sinner's prayer" which was a prayer that convert u to a christian."

den sumhow, i was lost, i was a free-thinker.. till the stage in my life ware i wanted to b singer so badly, i converted into a buddhist.. and for wat reason.. become i wanted to b a singer and pray that i will b one.. do i love my "god"? of cos nt... basically, i just converted becoz i want to gain sumting..i even ask for toto number...hahaha..
bt the funny thing is, all along wen pple ask me abt christianity, i would say i believe.. dun ask me why..

anyway, one day i came across the movie "passion of the christ", which sparked sumthing in me, i den read the bible and for some reason, i decided to give christianity a go again.. at the same time, i fall in love with a adorable boy which too was a christian.. and a very devoted one too.. i rmb wen i m nt wif him yet, i wld pray to god, not to ask god to let me be wif him, but to ask god to lead me the right way.. if he is nt for me, i ask god to support me along the way while i recover.. notice the difference in praying between a christian and a buddhist.. amazing, sumhow i managed to be wif the guy i love.. and he bought me much closer to god.. i really and seriously believe that it is all god's plan and will.. to get me closer to him thru my boy..

i canot write down all the miracles that god performed for me, bt trust me.. i dun lie to get sumone to trust in christianity.. it all happened on me, and not just quoting pple's incident.. which is y it is so vexed to see pple close to me nt getting the love frm god which they so deserved..

ok, so the highlighted part of the above para, rmb, the one i say wen i was young i said the sinner's prayer? anyway i believe that i was still loved and blessed by god even wen i was not a christian in heart... y? cos even thou i didn't haf $$, and was so broke, i managed to live a very exciting and decent life.. even wen i disobey him, he still love me no matter wat.. i still rmb candy asking, "u no $$ y still can buy so many things huh?", haha.. last time i will say "dun noe leh", nw i will say "cos i am blessed"... =)

feel free to ask me anything, or clarify anything.. dun hold back wen u tink he is calling u.. no harm knowing more, in fact u will gain much more...i haf too much to write, will continue sum other day, hope u guys will read.. i really hope one day u guys will experience the love and miracles that i felt... god bless...

the beauty exposed ;